The last few days have been a test. And the beauty of it is I’m not sure if I’ve passed or failed. I keep using the expression that everything seems so close that I can’t seem to see it. You know when someone is looking everywhere for their glasses, and you kindly smile and say they are on your head! I have had so much happen in such a short amount of time, but somehow it feels like a year has passed. I have four more days and then I am taking a short trip with a new friend. I”m looking forward to getting away for a few days so that when I return for Ammas Birthday Celebration I will have a new perspective. I am quite excited to see a bit of India.
Enough about me, lets get to the good stuff! My notes from Satsang with Amma this Tuesday.
Question: Amma, I always pray loudly ‘may I become an effective instrument in your hands. ‘ I know I’m not able to become one. My vasanas (mental habits) become obstacles. I use these vasanas to justify the mistakes that I make. My only prayer is that in this lifetime I pray I can be an effective instrument in your hands. Can you advise me how to do this?
If you have the true act of surrender then surrender itself will carry us to the goal. We all have a set of vasanas. But over time we will be able to exhaust them and be free of them. From our part what we can do is not create situations that will allow us to exasperate the vasanas. For example someone with cancer has a weak immune system they will not put themselves in a situation where they will be exposed to a sickness. They will protect themselves with a mask etc. in the same way if we are Aware of a weakness within us we should try to avoid situations that will arouse these vasanas. There may be different problems that come up which we have no control, but if we have the right understanding of surrender then God will take care of it all. We need to keep trying over and over. Just like learning to ride a bicycle. You try over and over again. Amma says this awareness and continuous effort on our part really helps us move forward on the path. When we fall down the attitude should be I have fallen down and will rise again. We should not fall and then have the attitude I’m tired and i think i will lay here for awhile and fall asleep. Amma says we should not do this. Patience is extremely important on a spiritual path.
We have taken this birth to get rid of the notion that “I was born”. If we have the true attitudes of surrender towards God then God WILL take care of us.
When we are in an ashram it is like being in the perfect climate for the tree of spirituality. It will bear fruit. True surrender is true acceptance with all situations in life.
We need to keep practicing chanting the mantra. Such practices are really helpful with the vasanas in the mind. They bring the mind to one point and we can slowly get rid of all the other insignificant thoughts. We need continuous introspection to see where we’re going and this awareness will surely take us towards the goal.
We have all come here to fight the ego but we don’t want to part with it. Ego is a very strong conditioning in us. But we need to understand that the whole purpose of coming to a place like this is to get beyond the ego. We have to adjust to certain situations. Sometimes you just have to be patient. We should put effort to change ourselves instead of blaming others.
** Then Amma gave this beautiful story about how her children are complaining about havnig too many roommates. Amma tried to explain to us that because of the tsunami, they are unable to build high anymore so they have less space. She then went on to tell us that even she has 5 ROOMATES!! 2 of which are bhakti and tumbin (the ashram dogs). Amma told us a story.
“A few nights ago I was reading letters after darshan and I wanted to stretch my legs. I stretched my legs and hit tumbin by accident where he was hurt a few months before. He quickly got up ready to pounce on whoever just kicked him. The moment he realized that it was Amma who kicked him, his ears went back and he ran out of the room very upset that he had a moment of anger towards Amma. Tumbin slept outside for 3 nights! After 3 days he finally came in the room to Amma, with his ears down asking for her forgiveness. Amma said of course she was never angry with Tumbin. She kissed him, and he took his spot back on Ammas bed. Amma said even animals are sensitive to tight spots but love is what we need to focus on! “